A pool of confusion

Lately I noted that my wife and I, we don’t seem to have a lot of things in common. Although we live under the same roof, we share the same name and we have two children, there’s nothing much bonding us. We live different lives, we have different passions. Recently, I realized we even had different definitions of what family life meant. 

I feel lost in all this. I don’t really know how we ended up here, in this situation. We got married young. We were nineteen years old when we decided that we wanted to be together, spend the rest of our lives with each other. We were so determined to do whatever it takes to make things going. 

When I look back at those two young people that we were, it feels strange. We changed. Both of us did. We had to work hard to get where we are. It was not easy for any of us. But unfortunately it seems that all the sacrifices we did, did not do us any good. It’s all in vain, given that currently we turned into strangers.

I guess that a more appropriate term for our relationship would be roommates. We respect each others needs and wills. We help each other. We are still friends. But we spend only a few moments together. Before we had no time because of our jobs. Now, we do have the time, but each one of us got used to his own ways. We both cultivated hobbies and developed new friendships - we are living in two different universes.

I can’t remember when we did something together, like go to a movie, or spend a whole day together. Must have been years. The time passed and we got used to having a distant partner, without actually realizing that it was detrimental for our relationship. 

I can’t blame her. For the past few months she has been working a lot, planning the organization of a commercial moving Quebecand dealing with the chaos that comes with it. I saw she was really tired and I did my best to help her. On the other hand, I can’t blame myself either. We slipped into different paths and I fear that they won’t be meeting again. Two universes collide only within movies, not in real life. 

I wonder how it goes for other couples? How do they deal with everything when they have to face the gap? Is this something they can cope with? Do they shake hands and say good bye? Do they ignore the lack of chemistry and continue to be together?